If you’ve struggled with health, you’ve likely worked to keep your mindset straight that healing is even possible for you. I know I have. I was newly married, sitting on the stairs leading up to the 2nd floor of our then bungalow home, and incredibly sad. The room at the top of the stairs was for our baby. Except we had no baby. Instead, we had multiple losses – miscarriages – and I felt like a mess.
If you’re fighting to keep your head above water on your healing journey, keep reading. Within every mess is a message. Discovering yours can lighten the load and make you feel a heck of a lot happier as you heal.
It’s common for people to isolate themselves when they’re experiencing difficulty in life. I know as a newlywed struck with multiple miscarriages, that was my go-to response. Just keep it all in. “I’ll figure this out.” But, healing doesn’t happen alone. We heal through connection
WE HEAL TOGETHER
Sitting on those stairs leading up to the baby’s room, one of my high school best friends, Blair, called me on the phone. “I’m sad,” I said. We had recently heard that our mutual high school bestie was pregnant with her second child. “What kind of sad?” she replied “Like…you have a bottle of vodka in your hand, sad? Or devouring chocolate, sad? Or, …” I can’t remember the other sadness scenarios she gave me, but it made me laugh, and I instantly felt heard and understood.
It’s common for people to isolate themselves when they’re experiencing difficulty in life. I know as a newlywed struck with multiple miscarriages, that was my go-to response. Just keep it all in. “I’ll figure this out.” But, healing doesn’t happen alone. We heal through connection. I witnessed that two decades later as a guest speaker for an infertility group. As each of us shared a part of ourselves through our story, we magnified the gratitude for being able to share our pain (lessen the burden we’re carrying) with someone else who gets it.
DISCOVERING THE MESSAGE FROM YOUR MESS
You may have heard of my friend Blair, the actress known as Selma Blair. She opened up about living with multiple sclerosis with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America and shares her journey on Instagram. Through humor, she remains positive on her darkest days. When her doctor said, ‘Your life will forever be different.’ Selma replied, ‘Well, thank God.’ That still makes me laugh. LOL.
After my fourth miscarriage (a second-trimester loss), I had to elevate myself above the dark cloud I was standing under. I had to find a higher meaning for my deep sorrow – my dis-ease. My quest started on a run with me yelling at God: Why is this happening to me? Over years of journaling and prayer, I came to sense the Divine answer finally: This is happening for me. This dis-ease is growing me to quiet my mind, growing me to open my heart, growing me to connect better with the Divine in myself, so I can better connect with the Divine in others and help them heal.
VULNERABILITY, CURIOSITY, & A LOT OF FAITH
How is your dis-ease working for you? You may know the answer instantly, or like me, it may take you years. Here are three steps to discover the message within your mess:
1. Get Vulnerable
As Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. If we want greater clarity…vulnerability is the path.” We are each other’s messengers. Is it possible the person you share your mess with is the person who directs you to another who can help you heal?
2. Get Curious
With a quiet mind, you’ll be amazed at what Divine messages you’ll sense. You’ll see them, you’ll hear them, you’ll feel them, and somehow you’ll know them. If you’re curious how I quiet my mind for clarity, check out Step 5 from my FREE Vibrant Health Guide.
3. Keep the Faith
Faith is an absolute certainty – believing without seeing. I hold a vision of what I want but remain open to how that vision unfolds. I trust life is working for me, even when I’m not getting the results I want. I trust all is happening in Divine time, which rarely coincides with my time!
Healing is often messy and rarely happens alone. May you find your message within your mess. You don’t need a physically perfect vessel to do that – and neither does Selma Blair. All you need is curiosity, vulnerability, and a whole lot of faith. Through your healing mess – just like Blair and me – you’ll be an angel in someone’s life, and they’ll be an angel in yours. And together, you’ll heal.